Over 7 months since I last posted....Sorry!

Wow, it has been a bumpy summer. Sadly, as a result of my still not completely working through my coping mechanisms, I have put on some weight. Yesterday, when I stepped on the scale because my clothes weren't fitting right, I was at 314. Okay, so it is still around 15 lbs, but it is in the wrong direction. I'm starting back at school next week, and it is time to get back on track.
We had such a crazy, busy, stressful summer. We had to move at the end of June, right after finals. I did well on finals, and got a 3.81 gpa for the term. Still, there was tons of stress involved with moving, and the place we found first fell through, so that I spent the week after finals looking for a place. We were blessed by our church with lots of help moving out. It was a good thing, and I really needed it.
I feel like we were just starting to recover from the move when our friend, and my daughter's youth pastor, who she deeply loves, drowned in a tragic accident. Add to that the stress that my daughter was present when it happened, and we spent the next part of the summer walking through grief over the tragic loss of a very special person I was looking forward to getting to know better.
Finally, I'm preparing for the first term at OSU, and have come to realize that I am probably changing my major yet again. Understand, this is not a move I would take lightly, I have done it too many times, but I feel like slowly God is refining the vision for where He is taking me. It is becoming clear that we all know we need to exercise and eat better, but the question is why don't we? This is sort of a nature versus nurture question. Is it as simple as the habits we were raised with, or is there some physiological and or psychological impetus that prevents us from doing what we know our bodies need? Is it a spiritual issue? All valid questions, and I really think the answer is some combination of all these factors. However, I want to dig into that further, and I think that is more in the realm of psychology than it is Kinesiology or Nutrition, although those are certainly factors that need to be understood to achieve and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
I'm going to stop there for the day, but more on this soon.

Diet....Not in the sense of Die with a "T"

Wowser, so I had this plan to go vegan. In many ways it was a good thing. I have this incredible blood profile I will post, I have very low cholesterol, however, I just entered some of the foods I've been eating into a tracker and I'm just eating way too many calories in a day. There is a lot of theory that you can't overeat on a vegan diet, and I call hooey on that one. The number of calories we take in still matters, and the scales show it. So, I'm about to reign in my diet yet again.
This time, my very first priority is tracking. I'm finding that vegan is not the right fit for me, although I do like to stick to a primarily vegetarian diet, so I think I'm going to choose to go flexitarian. For those who think I'm making this up, it is a real thing. "Flexitarian is a marriage of two words: flexible and vegetarian...you don't have to eliminate meat completely to reap the health benefits associated with vegetarianism – you can be a vegetarian most of the time, but still chow down on a burger or steak when the urge hits." This approach feels less restrictive to me, and more like the way my natural eating tendencies are.
I'm a week into the big weight loss challenge, and so far I don't think I've lost anything, and after last night's out of control dinner, I doubt I will lose much this week. Reigning it all in is necessity. I want to win this second challenge. I will post the pic for the last two weigh ins of the previous challenge, but I pretty much stayed where I was, and looking at the numbers after I entered my food, I know why. 
Now, to address the title of this blog, the one thing that is tough about working on losing weight is people's perceptions of diets. I know, a million people have said this before, but this isn't about a diet but a lifestyle change, and that is totally true. That being said, rather than feeling restricted I like to feel like I can eat whatever I want, but to do that, I must understand the price. There is a price you know? How much is that cheesecake worth to me? Sure, it may taste great, but if it prevents me from victory in reaching my goal is it worth it? Taking that further, is there a way to indulge the craving without going over the top? I think the easy answer to that one is yes. Find things that will satisfy the craving at a cost you are willing to pay. I have two Trader Joe's faves that fall into this category. The first is their cold brew popsicles, they are only 45 calories each, the second is their soy milk mini ice cream sandwiches that come in at about 90 calories apiece I believe. There are options. What are your go-to small sweet treats? 

Week 2 of the Challenge

Week 2 of the Challenge

First off, I'm sorry I didn't manage to make a post last week. I will continue to try to make a post on Saturdays. Anyway, the first week of the challenge was pretty good, but then I went back up in the second week. I don't know why I seem to hit these points where I stagnate, and one of them is around 295. It is almost as hard as getting below 300 was. Still, Lord willing I will persevere. 

It has been an interesting week. I'm taking two classes that are going to be able to help me pursue my health goals. I'm taking a Lifetime Health and Fitness class, where I'm excited to be able to get some real stats on my health. Plus a Health Determinants class where we are discussing the science behind how to change habits. Both classes should give me some real opportunities to continue to look at my health, and improve my health on many levels. More on that later. This is a great opportunity to use what I'm learning.

The great things that have happened in the last two weeks since school started: I've been planning meals and packing them, I haven't let up on going to Orange Theory, in fact I'm increasing the number of times I go a week, and I've started consistently taking the stairs at school. The bad: I had some high stress last weekend, some trouble adjusting to the sleep schedule, and a few binging  moments, mostly on sunflower seeds. During the stress I had an urge for sweets and combatted that by going to the gym, which was a great change in habit. 

Goals for the next week: Make a plan for what I'm going to do for the next, and more important weight loss challenge, continue with menu planning and meal prep, and add some extra exercise throughout the week. Finally, to make sure I do a blog post again in a week. Until then, have a blessed week, and continue to pursue your own health. 

The Challenge!

I'm sorry it has been so long since I've posted here, but the busy life of a student is my excuse. I will commit to posting once a week in the new year. Be looking for my posts on Saturdays. Today I am starting a challenge posted by a friend. It is an opportunity to win cash prizes for losing weight and getting fit. I have to admit that I went off plan over the holidays. Okay, not crazy off plan. I still went to Orange Theory on Thanksgiving, but I took a break from it for about a week and a half around Christmas. I did my first workout of the New Year on the 1st, and I'm happy that is the way my New Year has started. My weight has kind of been holding just under the 300lb mark, fluctuating between 296-299. I'm hoping the challenge helps me change that.
I've had a lot of people asking me about my blog, and I appreciate all the people who are on this journey with me. I feel like I'm constantly adjusting and shifting the plan to see what is working. In the end I will have the plan that works for me, and probably others. I almost feel like my body constantly needs to be shook up. I fall into a routine all too easy. From working out to diet, my body likes to regulate and stay where it is at. I guess that's where the scientific law of motion comes in, a body in motion stays in motion. That being said, rest was a good thing over the holiday break and I'm ready to get back at it.
A cousin of mine passed away suddenly this week, and I have to say, as with any sudden death, it has made me hyper aware of just how short a time we have here. I don't have time to waste on things that don't matter. Instead my time and energy are valuable, and I need to use them as a precious resource. I'm sure I haven't always been mindful of that, and I'm sure there will be moments when I still don't treat my life that way, but I have a goal in my sights, and I have every intention of reaching it.
Interesting, I have a definite goal, but it cannot be easily defined because I do not yet know what it looks like. My immediate goals are to get into OSU and complete my bachelor's degree in Kinesiology, and while I'm in the process of that get to a normal, healthy weight. I cannot guess what that weight is except to know what would be a normal bmi range for my height. I believe I should be around 140 lbs. A number that is fairly inconceivable to me since I haven't been that size since middle school or so. The bottom line is it isn't only a number, I'm aiming for an active, healthy, lifestyle. It is something I wish I had done sooner, but didn't have the motivation, inspiration, determination, and healing to have done sooner. All things come at the right time, and this is my time. I will be healthier at 50 than I was at 18, I know because I am not letting this go.
Finally, just a few milestones to share: I recently did a workout at Orange Theory where I only had to modify one thing! That was an amazing change. I'm getting up and down off the floor now without problems, and I can be on my knees. I still get back pain when there is a lot of rowing, but my back is getting stronger. Currently I'm eating vegan and loving it, my energy level is up and inflammation is down. How could that not make you feel better? I will likely be sharing some yummy recipes as I find ones I want to share with you. Meanwhile, I hope you are pursuing your health in this new year!
One last thing--I shared my pictures above that are for the new challenge I'm on, but I'm also sharing a "before" picture I found recently. I think in this picture I may be around 380?, I had quite a bit of time where I was too big for my scale, and that is somewhere over 350. I know at least once I went to the doctor and I was 380, so in my mind that is the heaviest I've ever been, but it is possible that it is even more than that. Anyway, it is nice to see the progress from that pic to the ones above.