I'm Still Here, and Still Working Hard

It has been so long since I created a new post, and I apologize. The weight has been coming off slowly, but it has been coming off. I'm not below 300 just yet, but getting oh so close. Lately life has been filled with so many non-scale victories that I had to share them here. My hubby and I spent the day together, and as part of the day we went to the Ross store in Albany. I think it tends to have more plus size clothing than the one here in Corvallis. Everything I tried on fit, and I tried on 3x and some 2x. I actually bought two items that were 2x. I haven't been able to fit a 2x since before I met my hubby over 19 years ago. Wow! It is pretty exciting to be able to walk into a store and find things that fit, I've had to catalog shop, or shop at special plus size stores for years.

Also on the note of sizing, and changes, I had to buy new winter shoes this week. I have always had wide feet, and for many years I've only worn Crocs, Birkenstocks, and Merrell Moccasins, but my feet have really been changing. Last week we had a bit of a cold snap and I decided to wear my Merrell's. After I had them on, I had to admit that my feet had gotten so much narrower that they were slopping around in my shoes. Since the shoes don't tie, they weren't going to work for winter. We were shopping in Albany and I saw these cute Clark shoes. They looked like they would be great for winter and walking around the college I'll be attending this fall, but I also didn't think they would fit. I've worn size 10s for years because I needed the width, but I've always been a size 9 1/2. These shoes were a 9 1/2 and regular width, I almost didn't try them on. My hubby persuaded me, and they fit, beautifully. Since they tie, they should be functional for a while.

Now, some non clothing related victories. This one is about movement. I have had a hard time with stairs for several years, only taking them when I absolutely have to. A couple of days ago we were in Market of Choice and although I rode the elevator up to go to the bathroom, I took the stairs down. Down is the harder for me, and I won't lie, it was still rough but I did it. Mobility is becoming so much less an issue. God is still working on my negative talk and attitudes about mobility.

The negative talk God is helping me overcome lately is the one that involves fitness. I love going to Orange Theory Fitness, something I thought I would never say. Even so, sometimes I find myself working hard to convince myself that I want to go. I always enjoy it once I get there, but I have this old negative thing about going to the gym. I'm realizing it is tied to a deeper lie that I am not athletic. My life choices have not been athleticism, but those were my choices, my body has always been capable of it. I am realizing that saying I'm not an athlete when I have athletic goals is like creating a self fulfilling prophecy. That is no longer how I live. I'm not limited by the past.

Perhaps that is the greatest victory, and one I'm constantly reaffirming, I'm not limited by what I have been. My future is today, this moment, now. I can choose how I want to move forward in this moment, and with the Lord's guidance and transformation my choices are getting better all the time. I'm happy to be moving ahead, and I can't wait to see what tomorrow is, but today I'm going to Orange Theory Fitness, and then maybe the Farmer's Market.

Little Steps

Changing a little bit each day adds up. Navigating this new life style becomes easier daily. There is always the question of what I might do today to make another step to pursue my health. This week I have been much more active. Parking further from stores, going to the pool, taking walks. I cannot say that each week I decide what part of the journey I'm working on, but that just seems to naturally happen. I have the food part of my plan pretty under control, the next thing to work on logically is fitness.

I hear a lot of talk about non-scale victories, and I've been experiencing those frequently. Things like being able to sit with my leg underneath me, like I used to do before I had so much knee pain. The lack of knee pain is becoming a thing. Last week I set myself some weight loss goals. The weight ranges I wanted to be by certain times. This week, I'm realizing I have fitness goals. That may sound silly, because it would seem they go hand in hand, but fitness goals are not something I ever thought I would have, or set.

Even more amazingly, is the type of goal. So, I have secretly always wanted to do a triathlon. Clearly something I never spoke of, or shared with people because it was absurd considering my weight. You may even think it is absurd now. The crazy part is I can see myself enjoying two parts of the triathlon, the swimming and bicycling, but the third part, running is something I have never really enjoyed, not even as a child.

To take this a step further, this will mean I need to train in running, and the best way to test my endurance in that would be to do a marathon. Obviously this is not something I plan to do soon. probably not this year, but perhaps the next. This is something that is going to take training and planning, but I am seeing myself at the finish line. I'm not sure when that mind shift happened, I only know it did.

I've tried to lose weight so many times, but this time is so different. I cannot explain what has happened, I'm trying to wrap my own mind around it. All I can say is it must be the Holy Spirit transforming my mind. My goals don't feel the same, they don't feel out of reach. It used to be such a struggle. I worked so hard to try to lose weight, to even try to care about it. I couldn't seem to succeed because I was so focused on how hard it was. Now, it isn't so hard, just a series of steps. Small steps that are leading to a big outcome, a big revealing of sorts. What will I look like, be like, and do at goal? A question I'm constantly asking and answering. A question constantly being answered. I cannot wait!