Diet....Not in the sense of Die with a "T"

Wowser, so I had this plan to go vegan. In many ways it was a good thing. I have this incredible blood profile I will post, I have very low cholesterol, however, I just entered some of the foods I've been eating into a tracker and I'm just eating way too many calories in a day. There is a lot of theory that you can't overeat on a vegan diet, and I call hooey on that one. The number of calories we take in still matters, and the scales show it. So, I'm about to reign in my diet yet again.
This time, my very first priority is tracking. I'm finding that vegan is not the right fit for me, although I do like to stick to a primarily vegetarian diet, so I think I'm going to choose to go flexitarian. For those who think I'm making this up, it is a real thing. "Flexitarian is a marriage of two words: flexible and vegetarian...you don't have to eliminate meat completely to reap the health benefits associated with vegetarianism – you can be a vegetarian most of the time, but still chow down on a burger or steak when the urge hits." This approach feels less restrictive to me, and more like the way my natural eating tendencies are.
I'm a week into the big weight loss challenge, and so far I don't think I've lost anything, and after last night's out of control dinner, I doubt I will lose much this week. Reigning it all in is necessity. I want to win this second challenge. I will post the pic for the last two weigh ins of the previous challenge, but I pretty much stayed where I was, and looking at the numbers after I entered my food, I know why. 
Now, to address the title of this blog, the one thing that is tough about working on losing weight is people's perceptions of diets. I know, a million people have said this before, but this isn't about a diet but a lifestyle change, and that is totally true. That being said, rather than feeling restricted I like to feel like I can eat whatever I want, but to do that, I must understand the price. There is a price you know? How much is that cheesecake worth to me? Sure, it may taste great, but if it prevents me from victory in reaching my goal is it worth it? Taking that further, is there a way to indulge the craving without going over the top? I think the easy answer to that one is yes. Find things that will satisfy the craving at a cost you are willing to pay. I have two Trader Joe's faves that fall into this category. The first is their cold brew popsicles, they are only 45 calories each, the second is their soy milk mini ice cream sandwiches that come in at about 90 calories apiece I believe. There are options. What are your go-to small sweet treats? 

The Challenge!

I'm sorry it has been so long since I've posted here, but the busy life of a student is my excuse. I will commit to posting once a week in the new year. Be looking for my posts on Saturdays. Today I am starting a challenge posted by a friend. It is an opportunity to win cash prizes for losing weight and getting fit. I have to admit that I went off plan over the holidays. Okay, not crazy off plan. I still went to Orange Theory on Thanksgiving, but I took a break from it for about a week and a half around Christmas. I did my first workout of the New Year on the 1st, and I'm happy that is the way my New Year has started. My weight has kind of been holding just under the 300lb mark, fluctuating between 296-299. I'm hoping the challenge helps me change that.
I've had a lot of people asking me about my blog, and I appreciate all the people who are on this journey with me. I feel like I'm constantly adjusting and shifting the plan to see what is working. In the end I will have the plan that works for me, and probably others. I almost feel like my body constantly needs to be shook up. I fall into a routine all too easy. From working out to diet, my body likes to regulate and stay where it is at. I guess that's where the scientific law of motion comes in, a body in motion stays in motion. That being said, rest was a good thing over the holiday break and I'm ready to get back at it.
A cousin of mine passed away suddenly this week, and I have to say, as with any sudden death, it has made me hyper aware of just how short a time we have here. I don't have time to waste on things that don't matter. Instead my time and energy are valuable, and I need to use them as a precious resource. I'm sure I haven't always been mindful of that, and I'm sure there will be moments when I still don't treat my life that way, but I have a goal in my sights, and I have every intention of reaching it.
Interesting, I have a definite goal, but it cannot be easily defined because I do not yet know what it looks like. My immediate goals are to get into OSU and complete my bachelor's degree in Kinesiology, and while I'm in the process of that get to a normal, healthy weight. I cannot guess what that weight is except to know what would be a normal bmi range for my height. I believe I should be around 140 lbs. A number that is fairly inconceivable to me since I haven't been that size since middle school or so. The bottom line is it isn't only a number, I'm aiming for an active, healthy, lifestyle. It is something I wish I had done sooner, but didn't have the motivation, inspiration, determination, and healing to have done sooner. All things come at the right time, and this is my time. I will be healthier at 50 than I was at 18, I know because I am not letting this go.
Finally, just a few milestones to share: I recently did a workout at Orange Theory where I only had to modify one thing! That was an amazing change. I'm getting up and down off the floor now without problems, and I can be on my knees. I still get back pain when there is a lot of rowing, but my back is getting stronger. Currently I'm eating vegan and loving it, my energy level is up and inflammation is down. How could that not make you feel better? I will likely be sharing some yummy recipes as I find ones I want to share with you. Meanwhile, I hope you are pursuing your health in this new year!
One last thing--I shared my pictures above that are for the new challenge I'm on, but I'm also sharing a "before" picture I found recently. I think in this picture I may be around 380?, I had quite a bit of time where I was too big for my scale, and that is somewhere over 350. I know at least once I went to the doctor and I was 380, so in my mind that is the heaviest I've ever been, but it is possible that it is even more than that. Anyway, it is nice to see the progress from that pic to the ones above.

Sorry I've been away so long, but life is hectic.

Wow! Time has gone by so quickly. I've been very busy with school, where I'm finding chemistry challenging. My weight had been holding, and I think it was the way I was eating. Food was too good at school, and I was eating more there than I should, and it was rich food. That being said, I still eat there once in a while so I don't feel deprived. I made a big dietary decision. Since I do not have time to calculate every morsel that goes in my mouth I'm primarily eating vegan. I'm not going to be dogged about it, although I did start to drop weight right away when I changed.
My first motivation to try veganism again was that I was having lots of inflammation problems, and I knew it had to be food related. Because I was eating out a lot it was hard to calculate things like sodium and fat. I know that even though I've been indulging a bit more in things like nuts and avocado, they are healthy fats, and much better for me than some of the fats I was consuming. Don't get me wrong, there are still lots of things I was doing right, but some old habits resurfaced too. Anyway, the inflammation was nearly immediately resolved, and then my energy level went up too. I'm able to push myself harder at the gym, and I'm sure that I will be seeing that 100lbs down mark sooner than later.
Here is the most astonishing thing, I think I'm becoming a morning person. Something I thought I would never be. I've always been a night owl, finding it hard to go to sleep before 11 and get up before 10, but that is completely different now. I'm super productive in the morning, and I get up by 7 or earlier everyday. A couple of days a week I go to the gym at 5 am. Something I wouldn't have even thought of doing before.
Also, since I've started school I have been making a habit of working on going up and down stairs more. I still usually take an elevator, but I go down stairs one foot at a time and forward. It may sound silly, but that is big progress. I don't know when I started, but at some point I started going down the stairs sideways and had to put both feet on one step before I stepped down to the next. It was a rather slow agonizing process. Going down stairs is still a challenge, but I do push myself to do a few more every week. Plus, my daughter asked me if I would go up the stair with her at Market of Choice one day and I did. She was astonished and said "Mom, you could never have done that so easy in the past." So, there is still constant progress, even though I feel like I've plateaued a bit. I don't plan on letting the holidays reverse that progress, and I should have more time once I'm past finals to let you know some of the strategies I use to keep it healthy during the holidays. Until next time, I hope you are spending time pursuing your health in a new way each day!

Life Changes, Stress, and Lifestyle Management

I know, it has been a while, please excuse the distance between posts. I have been pretty busy. I wasn't planning on doing school full time when I started, I wasn't planning to have a job while in school, but my plate is delightfully full. I'm enjoying having so much time that is productive, something I couldn't have sustained before the lifestyle changes I started in March, but I do still get tired, or perhaps just too busy to think about the minute details.
The biggest change, besides being constantly on the run, and never really having a day home to just relax, is my diet. With busyness comes the problem of lack of time. Lack of time to create the foods I prefer to eat, lack of time to plan ahead. This, and the fact that the school has a culinary department that makes the food, has led me to some less than ideal eating. It is hard to schedule eating 5-6 times a day. It is hard to eat smaller meals. It is hard to prepare meals. Add in a bit of stress, and my eating has not been what it was previously. I think this may be preventing the scale from moving.
All that, but I am not slipping that far into old patterns. I still limit my starchy carbs, I still typically stop at one plate, I still try to use portion control on those things that matter. (In other words anything not vegetable.) My new healthy habits are not gone, but perhaps a bit transformed. I do still go to Orange Theory Fitness 3-5 times a week, and I'm so glad I do.
I'm not sure what the greatest praise in all of this is. My weight has stayed the same under less than ideal circumstances, that is not a bad thing. I have made some really healthy new habits. School is going well, and even though I'm busy I'm more capable of handing that than I was previously. All in all, I feel great about where I'm at. Do I still want to lose more weight? Of course. My goal is to be in a healthy BMI, but I will not condemn myself for where I am right now, and I'm sure the weight will still come off, and I'm certainly giving it no opportunity to come back!

It is Official, I'm at 299 lbs

I know, I've been close for a while, but today the scale actually read 299. I'm so excited to be continuing to lose weight. It feels good to have lost 64lbs, and counting. I'm rediscovering my love of clothes shopping, although some things are cut strange, and sometimes my body is a strange shape.

So, I have always been honest with you about the changes happening, and I feel like I still need to be. The one that is disconcerting right now is that the extra skin on my lower belly folds and I'm lovingly calling it my second butt. My husband gets offended I call it that, but let me tell you, it is hard to dress it. Pants that fit right everywhere else don't quite fit the second butt correctly.

This is a journey, and I know it isn't always going to be great. However, the payoff is feeling better and being healthier. That is well worth every effort.

I'm Still Here, and Still Working Hard

It has been so long since I created a new post, and I apologize. The weight has been coming off slowly, but it has been coming off. I'm not below 300 just yet, but getting oh so close. Lately life has been filled with so many non-scale victories that I had to share them here. My hubby and I spent the day together, and as part of the day we went to the Ross store in Albany. I think it tends to have more plus size clothing than the one here in Corvallis. Everything I tried on fit, and I tried on 3x and some 2x. I actually bought two items that were 2x. I haven't been able to fit a 2x since before I met my hubby over 19 years ago. Wow! It is pretty exciting to be able to walk into a store and find things that fit, I've had to catalog shop, or shop at special plus size stores for years.

Also on the note of sizing, and changes, I had to buy new winter shoes this week. I have always had wide feet, and for many years I've only worn Crocs, Birkenstocks, and Merrell Moccasins, but my feet have really been changing. Last week we had a bit of a cold snap and I decided to wear my Merrell's. After I had them on, I had to admit that my feet had gotten so much narrower that they were slopping around in my shoes. Since the shoes don't tie, they weren't going to work for winter. We were shopping in Albany and I saw these cute Clark shoes. They looked like they would be great for winter and walking around the college I'll be attending this fall, but I also didn't think they would fit. I've worn size 10s for years because I needed the width, but I've always been a size 9 1/2. These shoes were a 9 1/2 and regular width, I almost didn't try them on. My hubby persuaded me, and they fit, beautifully. Since they tie, they should be functional for a while.

Now, some non clothing related victories. This one is about movement. I have had a hard time with stairs for several years, only taking them when I absolutely have to. A couple of days ago we were in Market of Choice and although I rode the elevator up to go to the bathroom, I took the stairs down. Down is the harder for me, and I won't lie, it was still rough but I did it. Mobility is becoming so much less an issue. God is still working on my negative talk and attitudes about mobility.

The negative talk God is helping me overcome lately is the one that involves fitness. I love going to Orange Theory Fitness, something I thought I would never say. Even so, sometimes I find myself working hard to convince myself that I want to go. I always enjoy it once I get there, but I have this old negative thing about going to the gym. I'm realizing it is tied to a deeper lie that I am not athletic. My life choices have not been athleticism, but those were my choices, my body has always been capable of it. I am realizing that saying I'm not an athlete when I have athletic goals is like creating a self fulfilling prophecy. That is no longer how I live. I'm not limited by the past.

Perhaps that is the greatest victory, and one I'm constantly reaffirming, I'm not limited by what I have been. My future is today, this moment, now. I can choose how I want to move forward in this moment, and with the Lord's guidance and transformation my choices are getting better all the time. I'm happy to be moving ahead, and I can't wait to see what tomorrow is, but today I'm going to Orange Theory Fitness, and then maybe the Farmer's Market.

Chicken Meal Prepping

So, I follow a very general reduced calorie plan, where I eat 6 small meals spaced through the day. Generally speaking I try to keep the meals about 200 calories, with at least 10 grams of protein, and get a couple of veggie servings in each. I'm a bit more flexible about carbs and fat. A large part of my daily diet is chicken breast meat that I cook myself and keep on hand to add to meals. Today, that is what my blog is going to be about.

Part of my meal prepping strategy is to cook extra when I do cook, and package it into meal size portions. In fact, I do not leave food in the pan for "seconds", when I serve a meal I make all the plates up for my family, then I package "leftovers" for later meals. This allows me to always have a stack of grab and go meals in the fridge. 

Chicken is sort of an exception for me. Every week I buy a pack or two of chicken breasts, season them simply (either Spike, or salt & pepper), and then I cook the entire pack. After it cools I shred the chicken, put it in a bag and store it in the fridge. Chicken is such a great source of low fat protein, and by shredding it I have lots of control over portion sizes. I also find that when it is shredded everyone in the family is happy with less. I often eat a 2.5 oz portion of chicken. The pictures below show a comparison of 2.5 ounces of chicken in a single piece, sliced, and shredded. You can see that shredding makes the portion seem much larger. Each 2.5 oz portion is about 86 calories, with not quite 2 grams of fat, and 16 grams of protein. (I don't mention carbs, because it has none.)

86 calories of a blank slate. What are some of things I do with this? I use it with leftover cooked veggies and a tablespoon or two of sauce. Think any type of leftover veggie, chicken, and sweet chili sauce, or, sliced onions and peppers with barbecue sauce. I throw it on salads, into "pasta" or zoodle dishes, and sometimes I just eat it plain, with raw veggies. A recent fave is to take about 1.5 ounces, mix a tablespoon of salsa, and throw it in a corn tortilla with lettuce and lite sour cream and cheese. The options are basically endless and it takes on any flavor.

Planning ahead for success when you are hungry is the best way to succeed, and this is why meal prepping works and is so popular right now. However, you have to make meal prep your own. What do you eat regularly? What could you eat everyday in different ways? Get creative.

First Goal Acheived!

So, like many who are trying to lose weight, my first goal was to lose 10% of my original body weight. I have done that in just about 2 1/2 months, 11 weeks to be precise. So far, I'm averaging 3.5 lbs loss a week. I cannot anticipate to continue at that rate, although it would certainly be nice. I'm in this for the long haul, and I do not want to sabotage what I've worked so hard to accomplish.

Tonight, I was challenged by a student/family potluck for my daughter, who is a senior in high school. I planned ahead and brought my own meal prep container filled with food I knew I could eat on plan. I did have a few things from the potluck, a few pieces of fruit, a piece of sushi, and a single chocolate crinkle cookie off the dessert table. I decided before going to make sure I made very careful choices. Homemade items I would not get a chance to repeat, and or items that would fit on plan and would be okay. This pre-planning and decision making is what kept me strong throughout.

To celebrate my goal my daughters plan to help me dye my hair, and then my hubby is going to take me to get it cut. I hope to do that tonight, but it may have to wait until the weekend since we have a week busy with graduation events.

My next big goal is to get below 300, that means I have about 25lbs to lose to get there. I'm planning on adding more exercise to my program, and I'm finding that challenging. So, another of my goals is to be able to ride my bicycle to the local co-op, and eventually to the farmer's market. What are your goals?

Weight Loss Ups & Downs

Today, I'm feeling discouraged. Okay, I know it isn't actually logical. I can look at my weight-loss progress, and see I'm ahead of schedule for my goal, my body is feeling better, and yesterday I fit into a dress a friend had gotten me, but had never fit. It isn't often I have a mood like I do today, and I can actually feel my mood yo-yoing. I'm battling my own self talk.

How am I going to choose to battle this today? I'm going to bring the Lord to the battle first, by getting into scripture, and spending time with Him. Then I'm going to remind myself of the success I've had so far, and keep my eye on the prize. I'm going to take control of these emotions that are making me feel discouraged, and frankly a bit depressed.

I'm not feeling like doing that, but I am not going to let my emotions drive this train. I am having a bit of a plateau, and I know that is normal. I weigh myself everyday, and I know our weight fluctuates, and most of the time I'm content to just wait and actually record my weight when it has gone down, but it has been a few days, and I guess I was hoping for it to continue to go down. On top of that, yesterday wasn't a great day.

I'm going to give myself credit though, my not great day is nothing like even a normal day used to be. On Sparkpeople my daily calorie intake goal is between 1200-1550. I like to stay between 1200-1300, but I don't always succeed. Yesterday I felt out of control of my eating. I went out of town with my hubby, and I didn't really plan. We bought some protein bars on the way out of town, and a bag of air popped popcorn. I do eat bars as part of my normal routine, but not usually two fuelings in a row. So, I think I felt deprived. I ended up binging half the bag of popcorn. In the end, my calorie intake was 1566. I felt out of control, but I guess it ended up working out okay.

The good news, I got a new swimsuit in the mail yesterday, and I'm very happy with it. It is comfortable, I look good in it, and it fits well. The best part? I bought a size smaller than before, and it fits fine. I probably could go even one more size down. I'm really looking forward to the day when I can actually just shop in normal stores, not just online for clothing.

I apologize if this reflects my up and down feelings, but I want to be real, and this is really where I'm at today. As Scarlett would say, "After-all, tomorrow is another day."