It has been so long since I wrote a post here, 2 years and 5 months to be exact. My journey admittedly kind of stalled for a time. It never completely stopped I suppose, but life and busyness sort of kept me from focusing on my health. I would try to recapture the momentum I had when I was blogging all the time, but with very little support from my spouse, a full time job, and still being in school I just wasn't able to maintain the trajectory I was on when I was actively in pursuit. I would by lying if I said the pandemic didn't make a difference as well. So let me give a brief overview of the last almost two and half years as I also dive into where I am today.
I was starting my first term at OSU in my last blog, and I had several terms with varying success at OSU. I currently sit 4 classes away from graduating. One of those classes I have struggled with and taken multiple times. This term I am not in classes, and I may not be until Fall of 2021, but that is yet to be determined. At this time I am still in process of making a plan to finish those last 4 courses. One big thing that happened while I was at OSU is that I found a job I love. I work in a secured adolescent residential mental health facility. I love being able to have a positive impact in kid's lives, and contribute to my community working with a population that is difficult to work with.
The impact of the trauma of my daughter losing her youth pastor was still being processed in my last blog, and so much has changed since then, but the trauma is still affecting us. Today my daughter faces substantial mental health issues that we are navigating. They are probably exacerbated by me kicking her dad out in September of 2020, eleven months after we moved from Albany back to Corvallis. Our marriage had been dead for a long time, and there were a lot of things that led up to the eventual decision that divorce was the only answer. I had clung to that marriage in a combination of desperation, fear of the unknown, and stubbornness. It took a balancing act of several things to see how my next step in my life had to be to move on, and my kids pushing me was no small part of the motivation.
As to my health journey, sometime during these last couple of years I read a book that really inspired me, called Bright Line Eating. I love the psychological perspective on eating, but I have tried the system several times without sustainable success. On my last weigh in I was at 307.5, down 26 lbs from where I restarted on November 7th of 2020. I would say I am appalled that I let it climb back up that high, but the reality is that so many things were going on, and the way of eating was not enough of a habit for me to sustain. I was doing pretty good with Bright Line Eating in the beginning of 2020, but then the pandemic hit, and I walked into Trader Joe's where the entire freezer section (one of the key ways I prep) was empty, and I just abandoned my plan. Add to that a job where they feed you, but of course it is not the healthiest diet for someone looking to lose weight, and it was a recipe for weight gain. I was going along in a what difference does it make manner, when in November something changed.
I met this amazing man, someone I didn't ever anticipate I would meet, especially given the timing. No doubt, I was on a dating site, but I wasn't looking for anything serious. It is astounding how serious it got, and how fast. What is better yet, is that he is not just supportive of all my goals, he encourages me, and gives me guidance in pursuit of them. The first for us to tackle as a couple was getting healthy. See, if you have read my blog much, or followed my journey, we know that I intellectually understand what needs to happen for me to be healthier. (I honestly feel that many who are overweight are in this same boat.) The struggle is the actions and maintaining of healthy habits. This is where accountability becomes a big thing. My partner holds me accountable in many ways, but doesn't allow me to walk alone on this journey. We walk together, even though he is in a different place in it than I am. My ex would try to encourage me, but basically from the sidelines. It honestly just irritated me because it felt condescending and like a hypocrite was trying to tell me how to do better. This is how much of his "encouragement" felt.
You will want to know what plan I am currently following, what is the formula, that is what everyone always wants to know. I have the same answer that every overweight person has heard a million times and detests, it is different for everyone. I started out basing my plan on Bright Line Eating (BLE), but with my job, the combination of odd breaks, and emotional ups and downs, BLE didn't feel sustainable. I still use their portioning for my lunch to a degree. What I primarily use, which is what I have primarily used successfully in the past, is SparkPeople. I use their calorie recommendations, and at the suggestion of my significant other my goal is to keep 30% or more of my calories from protein, and always more calories from protein than carbs. I shouldn't eat gluten at all, it gives me a terrible reaction. I had some last week, and today I am feeling under the weather, so I have to wonder if that is still related to the gluten. When I eat it, I ache everywhere. I also avoid added sugar, and try to minimize sweeteners. If I am using a low cal sweetener I choose stevia or monkfruit.
The gyms just opened back up this last week in town, and I am trying to go a minimum of 3 times a week for now. I also have a step goal, that I am doing horrible at, of 8000 steps a day. On work days I usually manage about 6000, so I still have a bit to go, since off days are even worse. Since being a single income household I cannot afford to go to Orange Theory Fitness, as much as I love it. Instead I am doing my own workout plans at Planet Fitness. With Covid-19 closures I have yet to get into much of a routine of that. I'm suspecting this blog will focus on fitness goals, etc. as it is the harder part for me to dial in.
Finally, today I am going to show a few pics. There will be one history pic that shows me at about 380ish, I probably wasn't even weighing myself then, because I didn't want to know. The rest are since I met my current partner, can you see the joy? I can.
A rare pic of me at about my highest weight.
No comments:
Post a Comment