Lifestyle Changes

I'm seeing my life change on a daily basis. Change is the one thing we can count on in our lives, and I have always been aware of that, but in the past it seemed like change wasn't always healthy. Today, I choose healthy, and tomorrow I hope to do the same. I do not always make perfect choices, but the choices I make now are much more calculated than previously.

For example, yesterday I did my first Dry Tri at Orange Theory Fitness (OTF). A Dry Tri is a in gym triathlon that includes a 2000 meter row, 600 body weight movements, and 2.5k power walk or 5k run. I'm not a runner yet, so for me it was the power walk. I finished in roughly an hour, and I have a real sense of accomplishment just from finishing. This is not something I could have done 3 months ago when I first joined OTF. My 12 year old daughter was able to come cheer me on, and afterward I promised to take her to DelTaco. This is one of the only fast food places we ever eat at. I walked in planning on ordering my usual, 2 chicken soft tacos on soft corn tortillas without secret sauce, and then got sucked in by the Queso Blanco advertising.

Here is where it gets amazing. As we were coming out of OTF I could smell french fries, I'm not sure where the scent came from, but  I commented to my daughter that they smelled yummy. I like french fries, but for me they are not typically hard to resist. This day was no different, until we were looking at the Queso Blanco menu and they had cheese fries. In the past I might have just had them, but thanks to fast food menuing that includes the calories, I knew they were 500 calories. Some quick calculations, knowing that I actually hadn't eaten much for the day, and I realized I could indulge, a little. I asked my daughter if she would like to split an order, decided to get only one taco and no iced coffee, but unsweetened iced tea. This is a win!

Did I need fries? No, I could have gone without them. Did I allow myself a food that sounded good when I was in the mood? Yes, because I know that allowing myself an occasional day of reduced vigilance, especially in the light of so much physical activity, keeps me from feeling deprived. Feelings of deprivation can lead to binges, and I want to avoid that. The key here is knowing when to give in to a craving, and when to exercise will power. In the end, giving in to the craving is actually will power because I made a careful decision, not a decision made in a moment ruled by emotional eating. That is powerful indeed.

I'm Still Here, and Still Working Hard

It has been so long since I created a new post, and I apologize. The weight has been coming off slowly, but it has been coming off. I'm not below 300 just yet, but getting oh so close. Lately life has been filled with so many non-scale victories that I had to share them here. My hubby and I spent the day together, and as part of the day we went to the Ross store in Albany. I think it tends to have more plus size clothing than the one here in Corvallis. Everything I tried on fit, and I tried on 3x and some 2x. I actually bought two items that were 2x. I haven't been able to fit a 2x since before I met my hubby over 19 years ago. Wow! It is pretty exciting to be able to walk into a store and find things that fit, I've had to catalog shop, or shop at special plus size stores for years.

Also on the note of sizing, and changes, I had to buy new winter shoes this week. I have always had wide feet, and for many years I've only worn Crocs, Birkenstocks, and Merrell Moccasins, but my feet have really been changing. Last week we had a bit of a cold snap and I decided to wear my Merrell's. After I had them on, I had to admit that my feet had gotten so much narrower that they were slopping around in my shoes. Since the shoes don't tie, they weren't going to work for winter. We were shopping in Albany and I saw these cute Clark shoes. They looked like they would be great for winter and walking around the college I'll be attending this fall, but I also didn't think they would fit. I've worn size 10s for years because I needed the width, but I've always been a size 9 1/2. These shoes were a 9 1/2 and regular width, I almost didn't try them on. My hubby persuaded me, and they fit, beautifully. Since they tie, they should be functional for a while.

Now, some non clothing related victories. This one is about movement. I have had a hard time with stairs for several years, only taking them when I absolutely have to. A couple of days ago we were in Market of Choice and although I rode the elevator up to go to the bathroom, I took the stairs down. Down is the harder for me, and I won't lie, it was still rough but I did it. Mobility is becoming so much less an issue. God is still working on my negative talk and attitudes about mobility.

The negative talk God is helping me overcome lately is the one that involves fitness. I love going to Orange Theory Fitness, something I thought I would never say. Even so, sometimes I find myself working hard to convince myself that I want to go. I always enjoy it once I get there, but I have this old negative thing about going to the gym. I'm realizing it is tied to a deeper lie that I am not athletic. My life choices have not been athleticism, but those were my choices, my body has always been capable of it. I am realizing that saying I'm not an athlete when I have athletic goals is like creating a self fulfilling prophecy. That is no longer how I live. I'm not limited by the past.

Perhaps that is the greatest victory, and one I'm constantly reaffirming, I'm not limited by what I have been. My future is today, this moment, now. I can choose how I want to move forward in this moment, and with the Lord's guidance and transformation my choices are getting better all the time. I'm happy to be moving ahead, and I can't wait to see what tomorrow is, but today I'm going to Orange Theory Fitness, and then maybe the Farmer's Market.

Accepting My Curves

I'm having a problem with the accepting my curves movement. I think it is fabulous to be good with where your body is at, but I think many are using the "Loving my Curves" movement to embrace unhealthiness. I have been overweight all my life. It has always been a struggle. I am not trying to be a skinny model type, I know I never will be. I am striving to be fit and the best I can be. For many years I was okay with being bigger, and it became a sort of excuse. A reason I couldn't do things, that eventually became an omnipresent reality. I had so many things on hold for when I lost weight, but I honestly wasn't putting any effort in.

The rub for me, and probably others, since I don't think my journey is that unique, was that being okay with where I was meant I didn't have to try to do better. My husband used to work at a place that had a sign that read "Good Enough is the enemy of Excellence." I was living a "good enough" life for years, but God promised excellence. Did that mean he would hand it to me on a silver platter? No, it meant I needed to go out and run the race that was laid before me, and in that race I would discover a deeper, more excellent relationship with Him. That doesn't make it easy.

Everyday I am walking in a new healing. My thought patterns are changing. The excuses are getting eliminated. This week I'm doing something I would have thought I couldn't do in the past. More importantly, because I was living in "good enough" I didn't really want to do it. So, what is it I am doing? Well, a few weeks ago I talked about Orange Theory Fitness, and I have joined them now. Twice a year they do what they call a challenge week, and this is that week. I had originally planned to do only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday this week, but every day is a different challenge, so I am going Monday-Friday.

Does it intimidate me? Heck yeah. Am I wondering how I'm going to do it? Definitely. However, this will give me all sorts of bench marks so I can check my progress in six months. I don't think it is chance that this is basically the first week I'm there. I believe God will give me the strength to see it through. I believe out of it He will create excellence. I'm excited to see how the week ends, and I feel like this is only the beginning of the fitness side of my journey.